I stumbled upon an article from CNN where it stated a lot of people are marrying their partners for all the "right" reasons, expect one... Sexual attraction. I found this fascinating. People are marrying their partners because they will make an amazing parent or they are a great best friend and their families and friends get along.
But as depicted in this article sex is the one thing that disguises a romantic relationship from a platonic one. In this article they describe sex as "relationship glue" and I couldn't agree more! Check out the CNN article here: https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/08/health/sexual-attraction-importance-in-partner-wellness/index.html Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on! Katelyn Photo cred: CNN
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The video above and the picture to the left was of me on July 19, 2022. These were the last moments captured in my first home. This is me telling the house I had made a home for the last nine years, good bye. (Shout out to my two friends who made me do this and filmed it!). From June to July 2022, I sold my house and just about everything in it, packed up all my favorite things, and moved from Salt Lake City, Utah, to Las Vegas, Nevada! I moved for several reasons but here are a few: to expand my business, gain more opportunities and gain a new sense of self (nothing but gains, baby!). Now, Salt Lake will always have a special place in my heart. But it was kind of played out. I had a lot of dreams and goals. I hit many of those goals and dreams out of the park and was the "talk of the town" you might say. But like most sports games, you don't make every shot; not every hit is a home run, and some losses hurt a lot more than others. A lot of my missed shots for me were full of heartache. I was so ready to move to Las Vegas, I was so ready for EVERYTHING to change. And where there is change does come challenge. But I chose to look at the bright side. Letting go and starting over is complete freedom. Since moving to Las Vegas, I have experienced so many emotions - the good, the bad, and the ugly.. but guess what? I have me!! I’m my biggest fan, I’m my biggest supporter, I’m my own best friend and I’m having a complete blast!! Katelyn is my number 1!! Loving yourself isn’t going to get your nails done every month. It’s listening to yourself and acting on it. I know this can seem cocky to some or that I don't need anyone - that is not what I am saying. I love people and I want people around me. What I am communicating is, this is me being the best Katelyn for Katelyn first, and then Katelyn can be the best Katelyn for everyone else second! I can't show up for anyone in my life until I can show up for myself first. Have you ever had someone in your life that you tell your feelings to and they either disregarded what you say, or tell you “oh, just go get a pedi or massage” or “oh, here are some flowers, feel better”.. sometimes you just want someone to listen! Don’t be that shitty to yourself. Listen! And if you need to go, then F$&%#!? GO!!!!!! When I told someone this, they said, " Well, even though you say and listen to those lovely things to yourself, we can still be our biggest critic and our worst enemy." And I agree. This brings up a great point. Because the more you listen to positive thoughts, the less negative ones take over your mind! Yes, I know what you are thinking "Easier said than done, Katelyn!". But the sooner you start, the easier it will come. So the next time you have a terrible thought about yourself, tell yourself three positive things about yourself, and if you can't think of three things??? This is self-care and self-love. All we have is ourselves! So be the best version of yourself for YOU first, PERIOD!! After that, you will watch the rest will fall into place. And if no one has said it today - you look great, you smell great, SO BE GREAT! I LOVE YOU!!! Remember to be kind to yourself today and get it on! Katelyn Kegel exercises aren't just for pregnant women. They help everyone and can be a form of meditation and being in the moment. Very important for the mind and body! For men, it can help with incontinence and help get a stronger erection. It also helps with the control of your erection. Do I have your attention yet? It helps with incontinence and pelvic pain for women - either chronic pain, pain during sex, and menstrual cramping or vaginismus. Women who have had children tend to lack feeling down in the pelvic region throughout the years after bearing a child. Also check out my blog on Kegel Balls. One way to do an easy Kegel are knowing what muscles to use. One of the muscles you use is the muscle you use when you go pee and you stop peeing midstream. Next time you go pee, try it. Here is a tip to do a Kegel: Hold the Kegel for about 6 seconds, then release slowly for 6 seconds and repeat for about 4 to 6 times a day. You can do Kegels while you're on the phone, typing, doing your work or homework, or waiting in line at the grocery store (and no one will know). The more you do these, the stronger you will make your pelvic floor, which means stronger orgasms and more feeling in the vagina and penis! (all good things) Here are some excellent video how-to guides if you haven't been exposed to Kegel exercises before. Before I had a hysterectomy, I had the privilege of going to a pelvic floor physical therapist. And it was an eye-opening experience. She was able to help me prepare for surgery and able to rehab me once the surgery was completed. So if you really have any problems in your pelvic region, I would highly encourage seeing a Pelvic Floor PT. They can give you lifelong techniques that can greatly impact your pelvic floor health. Here is an article from Femina.com where they talk about the "4 Reasons You Should Start Doing Kegels Regularly". A MUST-READ! Remember to be kind to yourself and do a Kegel! Photo: We-Vibe WOW Tech The purpose of a dildo is really for insertion, either anally or vaginally. You can brush up on your oral skills or you can brush up on your hand job skills. Some dildos have a suction cup base so you can put it on the wall have a good time or you're able to put it in a harness for a strap-on.
The lube that you wanna use depends on the type of toy you own. With a silicone toy you will want to use a water-based lube or oil-based lube. You will not want to use silicone lube on a silicone toy as it breaks down the material. To wash your toy simply clean it with soap and warm water and let air dry. Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on!! I really go into detail about this very subject my 21 Keys to Deeper Love program. But to sum it up for you, let me tell you this: ANYTIME IS THE RIGHT TIME TO HAVE SEX! Sex also doesn't always mean penetration. And doesn't mean it has to be the bedroom, it could be in the laundry room, shower, in the car (be aware of your surroundings!). The possibilities are endless... I found this great article by HuffPost talking all about it! "Is it better to have sex in the morning or at night?" Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on anytime! Katelyn Photo: Lukas Blazek |
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AuthorAs a clinical sexuality coach, Katelyn works with individuals and couples to help them discover their best sex lives. Archives
May 2023
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