How Do I Discover My Sexuality?
I often have clients ask me, "Katelyn how can I discover more of my sexuality?" - without the possible burden of signing up for a monthly service, getting into something that might be over my head, or hunting out a local "rub n tug" salon - which is possibly breaking the law in most states.
My answer... "Go to a sex club". Where this could be a little intimating for some, I think, with the right guidance - it could be just what you need!
If you found yourself growing up in an area where sex was suppressed and not talked about. You can grow up feeling that your life isn't up to its fullest potential, thinking your relationship - just isn't up to par. Or you long for something more. A sex club can really open your eyes to the world of sex and then intern you get to find out "Hey, I might want to try that!".
Some of my clients have asked me "What did you feel when you were there?". I respond with "I felt understood!". Just like with anything in this world - these things should be done in moderation, but it was an experience I suggest everyone that lived a suppressed life and feels the need for more, should visit a sex club. And of course everyone will experience something different but I hope your experience was as good as mine! Another tip would be do go with an open mind, and no expectations.
Sex is such a freeing experience and when people are doing it all around you all at once... that feeling is pretty liberating. Kind of like you finally cracked the code of that box you were put in growing up. The unspoken box of shame.
We are adults now that box is no longer needed to control us. We can make those decisions ourselves and leave the judgment of everyone else to the way side. Because those peoples opinion doesn't matter!
Say it out loud: "People's opinion's of me doesn't matter!"
I hope this helps your journey, but if you want to know more, contact me!! I am happy to help you in your journey to self discovery.
I LOVE YOU!
Remember to be kind to yourself... and book your trip to a sex club!!
Photo Cred: Liam McGarry
Coffee That Boosts Libido
The morning quickie... what a dream, right?! It boosts dopamine and oxytocin, making you feel like a million bucks for the rest of the day! Well, that is if you can get in the mood!
Some studies have even calculated that women climax easier in the morning rather than throughout the day... maybe because there is less on the mind?
Whether you are a sex pistol or as dry as a door knob in the morning, the people over at Lifestyle Asia stumbled upon "Sex Coffee". For coffee lovers, this is a win! It is coffee that is infused with Maca Root. Check out the full article about sex coffee here: https://www.lifestyleasia.com/hk/living/wellness/give-your-morning-coffee-a-sex-twist-with-sex-coffee/
Maca Root has many health benefits, and raising one's libido is one of the top health benefits. Here is the article from Healthline that you can read up on the erotic root: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/benefits-of-maca-root#1.-May-increase-libido
Whatever you choose to indulge in, make sure you keep in sexy, classy, and silly... those three ingredients are also a sure way to get in the mood a little more.
Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on... and maybe drink some sex coffee :)
Photo Cred: Lifestyle Asia
Sex Tips from Men
Men Sharing Sex Tips.. uhhh, should we be scared? LOL
I am kidding. Both men and women have some great tips regarding S.E.X.!
The people over at BuzzFeed curated a great list to give everyone some good pointers in the bedroom. Check out the article here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanschocket2/men-share-sex-tips?ref=bfbiobuzzfeed&utm_campaign=bfbiobuzzfeed&utm_source=buzzfeed.bio&p_id=96462
Number one is hilarious and yet very creative!
Remember to be kind to yourself, and get it on!!
Photo Cred: Anna Vander Stel
So you're ready to take your sexy time to the next level, bring some spiciness to the bedroom. An easy way to do that is with some good beats in the background.
You may be like me, where making a playlist can be daunting! Well, the people over at Vice curated an awesome list of sex playlists for you to choose from! Click this link to check out the article: https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3pmdv/best-sex-songs-music-playlist-spotify-apple-music-youtube?utm_medium=social&utm_source=vice_facebook&fbclid=IwAR0yH2s5lsf1E5FVh6ojcrZHSguiDDh8oVVKCCOGJsuMQ-NzNLr967C1f2A
I enjoyed the article because it had so many playlists to check out! I personally like the "Ultimate Sex Playlist" on Apple Music.
What did you choose??
Remember to be kind to yourself, and get it on... with some good music!!
Photo cred: Brandon Zack
Find Your Naked Truth
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The Bedroom Olympics
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Coconut Water-Based Lube
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The Art Of Kissing
New Year's is just around the corner, do you have your New Year's kiss planned out?
Well I got some helpful tips and tricks to figure out the full art of kissing!
The history and culture around kissing
The first kiss was recorded back in 1500 BC. It was thought of as a sniff or a smell. Which makes sense when we think about smelling things today. We can be totally turned on if we smell something we really like. Let’s say a good looking person walks by you, as they pass you get a whiff of them. And it is a rush, and say to yourself “hey come back!”.
90% of cultures in the world kiss. Some research says it is instinct and some say it’s a learned behavior. All in all, science is still learning about the world of sex .. and kissing.
What we do know is when we kiss testosterone is exchanged. Our cheeks actually have cells that suck this testosterone up and it gets sent to the brain. This could be a reason why men like sloppier kisses, because he is trying to trigger the woman to get “in the mood”. A first kiss can give us a rush of dopamine. Our pupils also dilate, so that could be why we close our eyes while kissing.
Kissing is so many things. Kissing can be used as a deep attachment, like if your mom kisses you on the lips. A kiss could be a romantic kiss, like when you had a romantic date and it’s a good night kiss. A kiss could also be a sexual kiss that has passion and really gets you “in the
Kissing actually can reduce the cortisol in the body, which is the stress hormone. So kissing can really help with our long-term health.
Oxytocin (the love hormone), is released during kissing. Foreplay and an orgasm is also believed to increase that bonding connection with couples.
One of us doesn't like to kiss...
Do you ever feel like you don’t want to kiss, because you may feel like there is agenda with it? A fun activity would be to ask your partner how they like to kiss. Because you both have different techniques, so it’s important to discuss it. Just like we should be discussing sex.
So what if your partner doesn’t like kissing, but you love it! What do you do? Well if kissing is a need for one of you and that partner is feeling incomplete without kissing, the “kissless” partner’s needs are not being met. So some compromising needs to happen with the partner that doesn’t like to kiss.
What do I say?
Discuss with your partner what types of kisses they like, do they like chapstick or lip gloss or lipstick. Most men find those bold red lips are attractive and some don’t. So find out what your partner likes. Maybe you are a lip gloss fiend but your partner really doesn’t like kissing you with your lip gloss on. Compromise - do a quick wipe of your lips before you lay one on them.
Another activity is to start making out without the expectation of sex. You could be surprised what kissing puts you in the mood for. If sex happens, that’s even better, but it might be the wrong time for sex. After a good make-out session, the anticipation and mystery of sex can really bring that dopamine level up. It will give you that feeling of craving your partner.
Not sure what kind of kiss to do?
The folks over at mindbodygreen.com, came up with a great article describing 20 different types of kisses!
Here are some other activities you can play to get the mood going!
The take-away for today is to start talking about kissing with your partner and to maybe get some good chapstick...
Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on!
📷: Tim Mossholder
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As a clinical sexuality coach, Katelyn works with individuals and couples to help them discover their best sex lives.