New Year's is just around the corner, do you have your New Year's kiss planned out?
Well I got some helpful tips and tricks to figure out the full art of kissing!
The history and culture around kissing
The first kiss was recorded back in 1500 BC. It was thought of as a sniff or a smell. Which makes sense when we think about smelling things today. We can be totally turned on if we smell something we really like. Let’s say a good looking person walks by you, as they pass you get a whiff of them. And it is a rush, and say to yourself “hey come back!”.
90% of cultures in the world kiss. Some research says it is instinct and some say it’s a learned behavior. All in all, science is still learning about the world of sex .. and kissing.
What we do know is when we kiss testosterone is exchanged. Our cheeks actually have cells that suck this testosterone up and it gets sent to the brain. This could be a reason why men like sloppier kisses, because he is trying to trigger the woman to get “in the mood”. A first kiss can give us a rush of dopamine. Our pupils also dilate, so that could be why we close our eyes while kissing.
Kissing is so many things. Kissing can be used as a deep attachment, like if your mom kisses you on the lips. A kiss could be a romantic kiss, like when you had a romantic date and it’s a good night kiss. A kiss could also be a sexual kiss that has passion and really gets you “in the
Kissing actually can reduce the cortisol in the body, which is the stress hormone. So kissing can really help with our long-term health.
Oxytocin (the love hormone), is released during kissing. Foreplay and an orgasm is also believed to increase that bonding connection with couples.
One of us doesn't like to kiss...
Do you ever feel like you don’t want to kiss, because you may feel like there is agenda with it? A fun activity would be to ask your partner how they like to kiss. Because you both have different techniques, so it’s important to discuss it. Just like we should be discussing sex.
So what if your partner doesn’t like kissing, but you love it! What do you do? Well if kissing is a need for one of you and that partner is feeling incomplete without kissing, the “kissless” partner’s needs are not being met. So some compromising needs to happen with the partner that doesn’t like to kiss.
What do I say?
Discuss with your partner what types of kisses they like, do they like chapstick or lip gloss or lipstick. Most men find those bold red lips are attractive and some don’t. So find out what your partner likes. Maybe you are a lip gloss fiend but your partner really doesn’t like kissing you with your lip gloss on. Compromise - do a quick wipe of your lips before you lay one on them.
Another activity is to start making out without the expectation of sex. You could be surprised what kissing puts you in the mood for. If sex happens, that’s even better, but it might be the wrong time for sex. After a good make-out session, the anticipation and mystery of sex can really bring that dopamine level up. It will give you that feeling of craving your partner.
Not sure what kind of kiss to do?
The folks over at mindbodygreen.com, came up with a great article describing 20 different types of kisses!
Here are some other activities you can play to get the mood going!
The take-away for today is to start talking about kissing with your partner and to maybe get some good chapstick...
Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on!
📷: Tim Mossholder
As a clinical sexuality coach, Katelyn works with individuals and couples to help them discover their best sex lives.