Blog of Love

The motto prepping me for surgery and this new journey was: If you set your mind to the goal, you can make anything happen. Our only limitation is ourselves. So I wanted to free myself from all the ropes holding me back. I came to find out that a lot of the ropes I have that hold me back are the ropes I tied I, where there's challenge comes change... and thats the beautiful uncomfortable feeling of growth! 

So as I got closer to my surgery date, I turned into a "hippy warrior" LOL I worked on a lot of energy with my mind and body. 

To prep my mind, I would clear and clean my environment. Meaning I deep cleaned my house regularly and would clear my energy around my home. I have always been into the "hippy" stuff with crystals and meditation. So that was easy to prep my mind and get into the higher vibrations of life. First, I would smudge my house with sage that I grew. Then, I would burn it with the doors and windows open and release all the negative energy and politely excuse it out of my house. Yeah, it might sound weird... but man, does it work! 

To prep, my body I was going to pelvic floor Physical Therapy (PT). For me, one of my biggest joys and stress relief is riding my bike, which I haven't been able to do most of 2021 without extreme pain. Finding out most of my pain was due to my pelvic floor muscles being so tight. So I was super excited to learn about pelvic floor PT. 

I started going about a month before surgery. At first, it was super difficult and would cause cramping and bleeding, but I pushed through. My PT said if it got too much to contact my doctor, but I felt like it was Felicia's way of fighting the process (man did she give me hell the last month before she was gone!). The bleeding eventually lightened and the cramping started to lessen each week. In addition, I noticed that I could do many of the exercises while driving or watching TV or on the computer, which made it super convenient. By the third week, my PT was very impressed with my progress in releasing my tension. 

I would advocate for anyone to see a Pelvic Floor PT if you ever have any pain or discomfort during sex or just day-to-day pain in the pelvic area. It's so strange to me that it's not talked about more! They can show you basic things like - how we stand, cough or even the way we breathe can be incorrect and that your upper abdominal muscles can really take over your whole lower abdominals, and thats not how it should be. As women, we are told to suck in our stomachs and sit up straight, blah, blah. But in PT, I found the looser I kept my stomach, the better it was for my pelvic floor to release (mind blown?!)!

The exercises I liked in PT were any of the pelvic floor releases. But one of my favorite techniques is sitting on a stability ball. Here's a video about it on Youtube.

Here is the ball I bought off Amazon. 

Another thing I did for my body was working on my diet, So I went vegan five weeks before surgery and continued for four weeks after surgery. But it wasn't just vegan. I also cut out all grains, sugar, and drinking alcohol. It was somewhat hard to get on track with low blood sugar, so I got real, local honey and would eat some of that when I felt more on the hypoglycemic side. I also researched healthy things vegans need to eat to have all the suitable types of nutrients in their diet. My friend, a nutritionist, let me know of a shake mix that has all the nutrients we need while on a vegan diet. Here are all the shake ingredients I used for the vegan shake: https://a.co/hIgKNav 

Some days, I would eat one shake in the morning and one in the afternoon, with a few small meals throughout the day, also drinking one gallon of water. And some days, when I would have more of a lazy day around the house, not going many places, I would eat four of the shakes a day and a gallon of water. A tip for the shake would be to put a handful of berries or a banana in it and chug the shake when you drink it because it has a lot of the super greens, which can be unpleasant to taste LOL. 

I started the vegan shakes at the beginning of September, and by the middle of the month, I dropped 10 pounds and felt great, and my skin looked so clear!! 

Now you might think, "how the hell can you just live off veggies and fruit?!" well, for me, it was a pretty easy transition. I have always been pretty strict on my diet because I have many food allergies (corn and wheat, which are in about 80% of all processed foods) and never really "loved" meat - so the vegan way was somewhat of an easy switch. 


Now, the whole last month wasn't cupcakes and rainbows. Felicia was giving me a run for my money! I bled the majority of the last several months, which didn't help to be vegan (lose of iron), and I was mourning the soon-to-be loss of my women hood. Somedays, I was a wreck. But you know I let it happen. When I wanted to cry, I DID! When I wanted to be happy, I DID! ​

There was one incident that I broke down for that I didn't see coming. It was the day I had to put my last NuvaRing in (birth control). If you remember, I have had to increase the birth control to every three weeks rather than five weeks (the normal dose). So I thought it would be any like any other time changing out the ring. But when I opened the new package, I felt so taken back that this was the last birth control package I would open. This is the last birth control I would use. I now do not have to prevent myself from having a child. It was a heartbreaking moment, but I let myself feel bad for myself. I let it out and cried. But by the end of the weak moment, I told myself, "it's going to be okay, and we are going to be so much better for it. You are not defined by not having children! And we do not need these synthetic hormones in our body!". 


"Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else" - Fred Rogers


Next up... surgery day!! 

​After I met with my doctor in June 2021, I felt torn. Constant thoughts were, what do I do? How did I get here? Is my life now? Is this forever? How much pain is too much? I should get a hysterectomy! Maybe I should wait? I am a sex coach and my sex organs are failing me. How does this happen?

I was upset; I was grieving. I never thought of kids in my future before this, but now my choice is being taken away. 

I am only 33 years old. I'm single. I have never been pregnant. I have been focused on my career and establishing my life. So it should be a no-brainer. Get Felicia out! Right? But then I would think, no one will want me if I can't have kids. So I will be a lonely old lady. 

I would try to stay busy because I was so uncomfortable. I wanted to crawl out of my skin! But everything I did would just make me hurt. So I started to find myself not working out, not enjoying a bike ride (if you know me, you know I love bike rides), working in the yard, not hanging out with friends, not wanting to date, not feeling sexy or desirable, not wanting to work on my coaching business.

I fell into a depression after months of pain, fighting with insurance, not being able to orgasm without a lot of pain after, bloating, endo belly, spotting, cramping, chronic pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night, and let's not forget the irritability! 

I decided to look into Adenomyosis support groups, found one that was interesting where women would share their tips and what they are going through. It's www.stuffthatworks.health/Adenomyosis

I called my mom one day crying, as I did so much during this time and my mom said "Katelyn, you are not defined by not being able to have children." and it just clicked! Mom was right! 

I am so much more than just a potential mother. I am a leader, a lover, a friend, a mentor, a creator, an artist, an advocate for my community. I am a strong, powerful woman and I am still awesome. And I am going to be even more awesome when I feel better!

I realized that what I am going through isn't Sicky Bug Felicia's fault that this is happening. She's causing the pain because she is trying to heal herself... but unfortunately, both her and the doctor's treatment aren't working. 

By the end of July 2021, I couldn't take the pain and discomfort anymore. I was noticing more and more pain. If I held my pee for too long, or if I'm constipated, or if I had diarrhea, the pain is even more intense. My thought was that Felicia didn't want any other organ to have more pain than her LOL. 

When I felt good enough, I would try to work out. I tried to ride my bike a few times but my pelvic area immediately started to contract. 

So I made an appointment with my doctor, who quickly referred me to a surgeon for a hysterectomy. When I met the surgeon, my blood pressure was high and I was upset and crying because I was so nervous. I told the surgeon my history, thoughts on children, and that I was ready for a new path. He agreed that a hysterectomy was the right option for me. 

He then laid out the land of what would happen. He would perform a "total hysterectomy," which removes the cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes and leaves the ovaries. He also mentioned that I also need to go to pelvic floor Physical Therapy and even do that before surgery to help me prepare. 

We came up with a great game plan and discussed all the details. When I left the appointment, I cried happy tears and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. 

A few hours later, I got a call about the surgery date, September 30th, 2021, and received the referral for a Pelvic Floor PT.

Next, stop preparing for surgery!!!