The Decision

​After I met with my doctor in June 2021, I felt torn. Constant thoughts were, what do I do? How did I get here? Is my life now? Is this forever? How much pain is too much? I should get a hysterectomy! Maybe I should wait? I am a sex coach and my sex organs are failing me. How does this happen?

I was upset; I was grieving. I never thought of kids in my future before this, but now my choice is being taken away. 

I am only 33 years old. I'm single. I have never been pregnant. I have been focused on my career and establishing my life. So it should be a no-brainer. Get Felicia out! Right? But then I would think, no one will want me if I can't have kids. So I will be a lonely old lady. 

I would try to stay busy because I was so uncomfortable. I wanted to crawl out of my skin! But everything I did would just make me hurt. So I started to find myself not working out, not enjoying a bike ride (if you know me, you know I love bike rides), working in the yard, not hanging out with friends, not wanting to date, not feeling sexy or desirable, not wanting to work on my coaching business.

I fell into a depression after months of pain, fighting with insurance, not being able to orgasm without a lot of pain after, bloating, endo belly, spotting, cramping, chronic pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night, and let's not forget the irritability! 

I decided to look into Adenomyosis support groups, found one that was interesting where women would share their tips and what they are going through. It's www.stuffthatworks.health/Adenomyosis

I called my mom one day crying, as I did so much during this time and my mom said "Katelyn, you are not defined by not being able to have children." and it just clicked! Mom was right! 

I am so much more than just a potential mother. I am a leader, a lover, a friend, a mentor, a creator, an artist, an advocate for my community. I am a strong, powerful woman and I am still awesome. And I am going to be even more awesome when I feel better!

I realized that what I am going through isn't Sicky Bug Felicia's fault that this is happening. She's causing the pain because she is trying to heal herself... but unfortunately, both her and the doctor's treatment aren't working. 

By the end of July 2021, I couldn't take the pain and discomfort anymore. I was noticing more and more pain. If I held my pee for too long, or if I'm constipated, or if I had diarrhea, the pain is even more intense. My thought was that Felicia didn't want any other organ to have more pain than her LOL. 

When I felt good enough, I would try to work out. I tried to ride my bike a few times but my pelvic area immediately started to contract. 

So I made an appointment with my doctor, who quickly referred me to a surgeon for a hysterectomy. When I met the surgeon, my blood pressure was high and I was upset and crying because I was so nervous. I told the surgeon my history, thoughts on children, and that I was ready for a new path. He agreed that a hysterectomy was the right option for me. 

He then laid out the land of what would happen. He would perform a "total hysterectomy," which removes the cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes and leaves the ovaries. He also mentioned that I also need to go to pelvic floor Physical Therapy and even do that before surgery to help me prepare. 

We came up with a great game plan and discussed all the details. When I left the appointment, I cried happy tears and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. 

A few hours later, I got a call about the surgery date, September 30th, 2021, and received the referral for a Pelvic Floor PT.

Next, stop preparing for surgery!!! 

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