 Even if you are married or have been in a long-term relationship. It is still so important to keep passion and desire alive. An easy way to do that is with the classic "Date Night". CNN actually wrote an article that has some great tips and tricks for creating a Check it out here: https://www.cnn.com/2022/05/30/health/date-night-returns-relationship-wellness/index.html I really liked the idea of a sleepover night. It got my ideas of what different things you can do on a blow-up mattress in the front room! (make sure the kids are gone for that night!) LOL The biggest thing I can say is make sure you kiss each other a few times during the date. This releases the love hormone (oxytocin) which is a great way to bond with your partner! Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on... and make a date night! Katelyn Photo Cred: Hitesh Dewasi
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 Men Sharing Sex Tips.. uhhh, should we be scared? LOL
I am kidding. Both men and women have some great tips regarding S.E.X.! The people over at BuzzFeed curated a great list to give everyone some good pointers in the bedroom. Check out the article here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanschocket2/men-share-sex-tips?ref=bfbiobuzzfeed&utm_campaign=bfbiobuzzfeed&utm_source=buzzfeed.bio&p_id=96462 Number one is hilarious and yet very creative! Remember to be kind to yourself, and get it on!! Katelyn Photo Cred: Anna Vander Stel  So you're ready to take your sexy time to the next level, bring some spiciness to the bedroom. An easy way to do that is with some good beats in the background.
You may be like me, where making a playlist can be daunting! Well, the people over at Vice curated an awesome list of sex playlists for you to choose from! Click this link to check out the article: https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3pmdv/best-sex-songs-music-playlist-spotify-apple-music-youtube?utm_medium=social&utm_source=vice_facebook&fbclid=IwAR0yH2s5lsf1E5FVh6ojcrZHSguiDDh8oVVKCCOGJsuMQ-NzNLr967C1f2A I enjoyed the article because it had so many playlists to check out! I personally like the "Ultimate Sex Playlist" on Apple Music. What did you choose?? Remember to be kind to yourself, and get it on... with some good music!! Katelyn Photo cred: Brandon Zack  I have been curating relationship questions for almost the last 6 months. The reasoning is to really dive deep when it comes to communication within a relationship.
I know personally, for me I tend to over communicate with people and so when it comes to really getting a sense of how someone is really feeling... for me there aren't ever enough questions!!! I want to know everything!! LOL I'd like to thinks it's because I am inquisitive... So anyway back on to the relationship questions! I would recommend playing/asking these form of relationship questions, when you have been seeing your partner for at least few months. Not necessarily to be played/asked with a young fresh relationship - especially if one of you hasn't fully gotten in tune with their feelings yet (fella's I'm not picking on you but yeah the fella's are usually the ones that we have to be slow with these questions). Reason why you would want to wait to ask these questions, is it can be a bit too deep when you really have only dipped your toe into the water of the relationship and not quite sure if you are ready to jump fully in and if you are ready to share all the feelings, just yet! LOL So here we go!
Deeper questions:
Been in a relationship for a while? Here are some questions you can ask if you are in a current long term relationship:
I hope you can uncover some positive feedback, nothing but love here! Remember to be kind to yourself and your partner... and get it on! Katelyn Photo Cred: Simone Secci  Knowing your turn on and offs can get you to really hone in on what you like.
Whether you are in a relationship or single, we can all get lost in who we are. In a relationship, we morph into a "unit force", and when we are single, we can be a little more open to influence or more closed off depending on our personalities. When discussing turn-ons and turn-offs, I encourage you to avoid talking about what you don't like and what turns you off. The negative talk can consume you and your partner or potential partner. Instead, we want to be light in the conversation and playful. Why? Because playfulness is sexy! So how do we find out what characteristics we like? Well, I stumbled upon these interesting and silly quizzes. They are especially interesting because they deal with your turn-ons! I found one quiz on the buzz feed that tells you what age you are depending on your turn-ons and turn-offs. My results were that I was "19"... funny because I usually tell friends that I'm 19 when they comment about how old we are getting LOL. Check out your Turn-Ons And Turn-Offs Will Determine Your True Age. I found another quiz on ProProfs.com: https://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php. My results were, "Cuddling, Cuddling is a romantic way of showing affection to your loved one. Whenever you do it with him/her, you feel this unusual chills running through your body." I am a big on affection, so this makes total sense LOL. So I should say, no, I don't think these quizzes are accurate and you shouldn't take them too seriously, BUT I feel it is a great way to talk (to yourself, a friend, or your partner) about what you like and don't like, even laugh on your results. Please share what you got and if you think it's right! Remember to be kind to yourself... and know your turn-ons! Photo by: elnaz asadi  Now that we have almost spent all of our tax return money... or still upset with the IRS. Let's talk about you and your "Bae" going out for a lovely evening out!
WAIT! What about the money situation?! Date nights can be expensive, and many of us are "ballin on a budget"! LOL So came up with some tips for cheap date nights: Netflix and Chill? - Yeah, staying in can be fun! So switch it up, make a bed on the floor, get some favorite snacks or get your favorite tacos from the local taco truck down the street, and curl up and watch a comedy. Maybe you want a sexy option? Still make a bed on the floor, but this party's attire is bra and underwear ONLY. Pick a sexy movie like Basic Instinct, Cruel Intentions, Love and Basketball, or Wild Things (I think I might be stuck in the '90s, but these are some classics!). Game Night - Need some games or other fun activities? Check out some games I made or check out some other objects that you can introduce in the bedroom. :) Watch A Sunrise Or Sunset - Fact! The most beautiful show is right above of us! So seize the moment and take your lovey on a road trip to find the best view in your town to watch a sunrise or sunset. Stargazing With Your Boo - Like watching a sunset, go outside once it's dark with a lawn chair and a blanket and look up! Check out this article for some best stargazing apps to help you find the best location and help you navigate the night sky!: https://www.space.com/best-stargazing-apps Want some more tips?? Check out this Forbes article I found on how to plan a date on a budget: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/banking/how-to-plan-a-budgeting-date-night-with-your-spouse/ Remember to be kind to yourself... and be a cheap date! Katelyn Photo: Heather Ford  New Year's is just around the corner, do you have your New Year's kiss planned out?
Well I got some helpful tips and tricks to figure out the full art of kissing! The history and culture around kissing The first kiss was recorded back in 1500 BC. It was thought of as a sniff or a smell. Which makes sense when we think about smelling things today. We can be totally turned on if we smell something we really like. Let’s say a good looking person walks by you, as they pass you get a whiff of them. And it is a rush, and say to yourself “hey come back!”. 90% of cultures in the world kiss. Some research says it is instinct and some say it’s a learned behavior. All in all, science is still learning about the world of sex .. and kissing. What we do know is when we kiss testosterone is exchanged. Our cheeks actually have cells that suck this testosterone up and it gets sent to the brain. This could be a reason why men like sloppier kisses, because he is trying to trigger the woman to get “in the mood”. A first kiss can give us a rush of dopamine. Our pupils also dilate, so that could be why we close our eyes while kissing. Kissing is so many things. Kissing can be used as a deep attachment, like if your mom kisses you on the lips. A kiss could be a romantic kiss, like when you had a romantic date and it’s a good night kiss. A kiss could also be a sexual kiss that has passion and really gets you “in the mood.” Kissing actually can reduce the cortisol in the body, which is the stress hormone. So kissing can really help with our long-term health. Oxytocin (the love hormone), is released during kissing. Foreplay and an orgasm is also believed to increase that bonding connection with couples. One of us doesn't like to kiss... Do you ever feel like you don’t want to kiss, because you may feel like there is agenda with it? A fun activity would be to ask your partner how they like to kiss. Because you both have different techniques, so it’s important to discuss it. Just like we should be discussing sex. So what if your partner doesn’t like kissing, but you love it! What do you do? Well if kissing is a need for one of you and that partner is feeling incomplete without kissing, the “kissless” partner’s needs are not being met. So some compromising needs to happen with the partner that doesn’t like to kiss. What do I say? Discuss with your partner what types of kisses they like, do they like chapstick or lip gloss or lipstick. Most men find those bold red lips are attractive and some don’t. So find out what your partner likes. Maybe you are a lip gloss fiend but your partner really doesn’t like kissing you with your lip gloss on. Compromise - do a quick wipe of your lips before you lay one on them. Another activity is to start making out without the expectation of sex. You could be surprised what kissing puts you in the mood for. If sex happens, that’s even better, but it might be the wrong time for sex. After a good make-out session, the anticipation and mystery of sex can really bring that dopamine level up. It will give you that feeling of craving your partner. Not sure what kind of kiss to do? The folks over at mindbodygreen.com, came up with a great article describing 20 different types of kisses! Here are some other activities you can play to get the mood going!
The take-away for today is to start talking about kissing with your partner and to maybe get some good chapstick... Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on! Katelyn 📷: Tim Mossholder  Are you trying to find love to keep you warm this fall? Well, I can help! Being cooped up indoors can put us into a reclusive state, and when it comes to dating... that's the opposite of what should be happening! If you're in the dating scene, it can be countless matches, endless first dates, and meaningless small talk. So how do you break the cycle? How can you find love?! Well, if you're reading this, you are on the right path to get some help in the dating game. And you know what good for you in taking charge! Whether you're a serial dater, a hopeless romantic, or have never been kissed, here are three tips for you! 1. Make a list and check it twice - Santa is coming a little early this year! The first tip is to know what you want in a relationship and make a list. The list should be what traits and characteristics you want in a person that you could potentially date. Number each item from most important to least important. See the example below. Now, you're asking why you aren't making a list of the things you don't want? Well, it's simple really, we don't want to focus on the negative! Also, try as hard as possible to put your physical requirements at the bottom of the list. 1. Fun Personality likes to laugh 2. Accepting of my kids (or fur babies) 3. Communicates honestly 4. Understanding of feelings 5. Kissable wants to kiss and knows how 6. Active, go to the gym, or go on bike rides 7. Enjoys having people over 8. Dancing going to dance class 9. Cleanly likes to be tidy 10. Great smile Once you write your list, stick with it. If you are talking to someone and they haven't hit your numbers on your list, move on! 2. Set Boundaries A fantastic article by Mind Body Green states that no boundaries = little self-esteem, which I totally agree with! Read this article for "6 steps to set good boundaries". 3. Get a real like Hitch... a Love Coach! If you haven't seen the movie Hitch with Will Smith, stop everything you are doing and go watch it, please! So a Love Coach's purpose is to help you gain the self-esteem that you are worthy of love! And set you on the right path for a great relationship giving you tools and resources to approach the right people for you. As a Love Coach, I can help build up your confidence and teach you how to talk to someone you are interested in. And if you need help with your dating profile, I help with that too! I am offering $50 off all Coaching Packages this fall. Get this exclusive offer by using code FALL50 at check out!  Hi everyone! If you have been single at any point during the last year, you have probably felt the wrath of COVID in your dating game. Some people agree with sending a mandatory health screening to all prospective lovers, and some other people are offended that you even asked. But the ones who respond with a safe, socially distanced response. Well, those are the actions that have become more of a turn-on for a lot of people! The Washington Post posted an article, "What's Sexy in a Pandemic?" that talks about the ins and outs of dating during the pandemic. It's both insightful and funny. Definitely, a must read! I sum it up to this: Be safe, but be happy!!! We cannot fear the dark cloud of being alone. Because if you aren't happy alone, you won't be satisfied with someone else. Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on... 😷 Katelyn Photo: Julian Wan |
AuthorAs a clinical sexuality coach, Katelyn works with individuals and couples to help them discover their best sex lives. Archives
May 2023
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