So how good are you [really] at Fallacio? Whether you feel like you don't need any help in that area or get scared at the thought of putting your partner's member in your mouth... here are some great tips to be a grade-A deep-throater!
The main issue: Gag reflux!
If you have a terrible gag reflex, there are two solutions.
Number 1: The short-term solution - numbing gels or sprays. Where I don't recommend these products, they are out there. Why don't I recommend them? Because they are not natural! And if you follow my methods, I am all about natural and safe materials around your body (this includes sex toys).
So I know you are on the edge of your seat wondering what the other solution is... Well...
Number 2: The longer-term solution, and that is desensitization. Practice makes perfect.. right?? LOL
This long-term solution can take up to a month, but just like any muscle, you must train it. You can get your body well versed by gradually adjusting the back of your throat to that area being touched and not gaging.
How do I do it!? (How to's of Desensitization):
Now you don't always have to use a toothbrush! You can add a little kinkiness to it as well! You can use those same steps, but instead of a toothbrush, you could use your partner's member or a dildo.
Usually, your partner is more than willing to help you out with this exercise. LOL. But a dildo is fun too!
Click here, if you would like to read the whole Healthline blog on this exact topic.
I hope this helps your deep-throating journey!
Remember to be kind to yourself... and deep throat like a champ!!
Photo Cred: Deon Black
I really go into detail about this very subject my 21 Keys to Deeper Love program.
But to sum it up for you, let me tell you this: ANYTIME IS THE RIGHT TIME TO HAVE SEX! Sex also doesn't always mean penetration. And doesn't mean it has to be the bedroom, it could be in the laundry room, shower, in the car (be aware of your surroundings!). The possibilities are endless...
I found this great article by HuffPost talking all about it! "Is it better to have sex in the morning or at night?"
Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on anytime!
Photo: Lukas Blazek
Knowing your turn on and offs can get you to really hone in on what you like.
Whether you are in a relationship or single, we can all get lost in who we are. In a relationship, we morph into a "unit force", and when we are single, we can be a little more open to influence or more closed off depending on our personalities.
When discussing turn-ons and turn-offs, I encourage you to avoid talking about what you don't like and what turns you off. The negative talk can consume you and your partner or potential partner. Instead, we want to be light in the conversation and playful. Why? Because playfulness is sexy!
So how do we find out what characteristics we like? Well, I stumbled upon these interesting and silly quizzes. They are especially interesting because they deal with your turn-ons!
I found one quiz on the buzz feed that tells you what age you are depending on your turn-ons and turn-offs. My results were that I was "19"... funny because I usually tell friends that I'm 19 when they comment about how old we are getting LOL. Check out your Turn-Ons And Turn-Offs Will Determine Your True Age.
I found another quiz on ProProfs.com:
My results were, "Cuddling, Cuddling is a romantic way of showing affection to your loved one. Whenever you do it with him/her, you feel this unusual chills running through your body." I am a big on affection, so this makes total sense LOL.
So I should say, no, I don't think these quizzes are accurate and you shouldn't take them too seriously, BUT I feel it is a great way to talk (to yourself, a friend, or your partner) about what you like and don't like, even laugh on your results.
Please share what you got and if you think it's right!
Remember to be kind to yourself... and know your turn-ons!
Photo by: elnaz asadi
New Year's is just around the corner, do you have your New Year's kiss planned out?
Well I got some helpful tips and tricks to figure out the full art of kissing!
The history and culture around kissing
The first kiss was recorded back in 1500 BC. It was thought of as a sniff or a smell. Which makes sense when we think about smelling things today. We can be totally turned on if we smell something we really like. Let’s say a good looking person walks by you, as they pass you get a whiff of them. And it is a rush, and say to yourself “hey come back!”.
90% of cultures in the world kiss. Some research says it is instinct and some say it’s a learned behavior. All in all, science is still learning about the world of sex .. and kissing.
What we do know is when we kiss testosterone is exchanged. Our cheeks actually have cells that suck this testosterone up and it gets sent to the brain. This could be a reason why men like sloppier kisses, because he is trying to trigger the woman to get “in the mood”. A first kiss can give us a rush of dopamine. Our pupils also dilate, so that could be why we close our eyes while kissing.
Kissing is so many things. Kissing can be used as a deep attachment, like if your mom kisses you on the lips. A kiss could be a romantic kiss, like when you had a romantic date and it’s a good night kiss. A kiss could also be a sexual kiss that has passion and really gets you “in the
Kissing actually can reduce the cortisol in the body, which is the stress hormone. So kissing can really help with our long-term health.
Oxytocin (the love hormone), is released during kissing. Foreplay and an orgasm is also believed to increase that bonding connection with couples.
One of us doesn't like to kiss...
Do you ever feel like you don’t want to kiss, because you may feel like there is agenda with it? A fun activity would be to ask your partner how they like to kiss. Because you both have different techniques, so it’s important to discuss it. Just like we should be discussing sex.
So what if your partner doesn’t like kissing, but you love it! What do you do? Well if kissing is a need for one of you and that partner is feeling incomplete without kissing, the “kissless” partner’s needs are not being met. So some compromising needs to happen with the partner that doesn’t like to kiss.
What do I say?
Discuss with your partner what types of kisses they like, do they like chapstick or lip gloss or lipstick. Most men find those bold red lips are attractive and some don’t. So find out what your partner likes. Maybe you are a lip gloss fiend but your partner really doesn’t like kissing you with your lip gloss on. Compromise - do a quick wipe of your lips before you lay one on them.
Another activity is to start making out without the expectation of sex. You could be surprised what kissing puts you in the mood for. If sex happens, that’s even better, but it might be the wrong time for sex. After a good make-out session, the anticipation and mystery of sex can really bring that dopamine level up. It will give you that feeling of craving your partner.
Not sure what kind of kiss to do?
The folks over at mindbodygreen.com, came up with a great article describing 20 different types of kisses!
Here are some other activities you can play to get the mood going!
The take-away for today is to start talking about kissing with your partner and to maybe get some good chapstick...
Remember to be kind to yourself and get it on!
📷: Tim Mossholder
I have had clients recently ask me about how to spice things up! One way to do this would be to bring in another partner can really create a lot of spice and creates mystery which really gets the mind desiring your partner.
So where do you start?! Well here are a few ways to go about getting a third partner:
I hope these tips help on your journey to find a third! 😉
Be kind to yourself and get it on!!
Photo credit: Dainis Graveris
As a clinical sexuality coach, Katelyn works with individuals and couples to help them discover their best sex lives.